Rolling in the Deep
by DawntoDust
Summary: Edward left Bella a year ago, what happens now that they are dancing in a ballet together?  Will life imitate art? Or will they be left thinking, we could have had it all? AH, BXE and lemony goodness. Read and review!
1. Chapter 1 White Blank Page

AN: I don't own Twilight. I just thought of this little story. Any songs used are also not mine.

BTW the betas at Project Team Beta are awesome sauce, without this would be so full of comma splices it would make your head spin.

Rolling in the Deep

Chapter 1- White Blank Page

BPOV

I stared at myself in the window of the subway; and not subtly starring, I was hard core checking myself out. I was trying to see if I looked any different than I had yesterday, before I received the call that the New Moon Contemporary Ballet Company wanted me as a principle dancer in their company. But no, I was still the same. Becoming a principle hadn't made me any more beautiful or really look any different at all. But I felt that I was holding my head a little higher, walking with a little more purpose, and overall was just feeling more confident.

I had graduated Julliard a few weeks prior after senior showcase I had gotten a few calls, mostly for corps in lesser known companies. Then the call from New Moon came. I had fully intended to take a position as a background dancer in Brooklyn Contemporary, which was a great company but I would only ever dance in front of fifty people at a time and the pay was terrible. I never dreamed that I would get a call from a major New York company where I would get to perform in front of thousands. I especially wasn't expecting to get offered the spot of a principle.

_Principle._

I shuddered at what exactly that title was going to bring me—my name on a dressing room door, my image on promotional pictures, the lead in their new ballet—it was everything that I had worked for since I was six when I bought my first pair of ballet slippers.

I got off at my stop and walked the rest of the way to the studio for my first rehearsal, willing myself to get ready to relax into the steady rhythm of the barre exercises. I'd assumed it would be like every other rehearsal that I had ever been to, that I would blend in with the other dancers. I hadn't expected every eye to be on me from the moment that I stepped in the door.

Everyone was looking at me. Some with curiosity and some with hatred as if they wished that I would incinerate on the spot. I shrugged my shoulders and let my bag drop to the floor by the mirror and silently prayed that the others in the company would begin to talk, stretch, or really do anything to cover up the immense wall of tension that had filled the room the second I entered it.

"Isabella?"

I turned to look at the most petite girl I had ever seen, staring at me with the brightest sky-blue eyes; she looked at me with such an expression of genuine kindness that it instantly put me at ease. It almost felt like kismet, like we were destined to be friends, and for the first time that day I felt a real smile come across my face.

"Please, call me Bella. I only use Isabella when I want people to think that I'm some snooty primadonna," I answered with a laugh. In an instant it was like the entire room changed; everybody snickered and the tension relaxed a little.

The petite girl squealed. "Well, I'm Alice, and I for one am so glad that you've come to New Moon. I saw you at Julliard's showcase. You're incredible." She leaned toward me a little bit and said in a hushed voice, "Plus I get the feeling we're going to be great friends."

I smiled at Alice, and she and I began chatting as we did our stretches. She asked me about Julliard and told me about her own training at the American Ballet Theater. I learned quickly that this petite ballerina could talk, and talk fast. She also pulled information from me as if I was a prisoner at Guantanamo Bay. I will give Alice this—she was a sneaky one.

"So, what do you know about the ballet?" I asked.

Alice shrugged. "I don't know anything about your ballet. I'm currently rehearsing for the September ballet. In fact, most of the company is in that one. I think only you and Edward are in October's."

That got my attention.

"A two-person ballet? I haven't heard of that before."

"It's some sort of love story. I don't know. Aro hasn't talked about it much. He just announced that we were getting two new principles and they were for a ballet in October. Besides announcing your name and Edward Cullen's, he hasn't said a whole bunch."

Shit.

Shitty shitty .Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Shit shit.

"Edward Cullen?"

Alice quirked an eyebrow at me. "Yeah. I know. He was with New York City. I'm surprised he jumped ship to come here."

"I have to dance with Edward Cullen?"

"What's wrong with that?"

What was wrong with that? A whole lot. The bastard broke my heart.

"Let's just say we have some history, and that I kind of hate him. It's going to be extremely hard to dance with him and not punch him in the junk. Maybe I'll even gain ten pounds to make it harder to lift me….Fucking bastard."

I heard a dark chuckle behind me. "That would be a shame, Bella. You're gorgeous just the way you are."

I turned around and my brown eyes met the same green ones that had haunted my dreams for the past year since he had left. He had left me broken hearted at Julliard. Just like that, one day we were completely happy and the next we were done. I was devastated and started putting everything I had into my dancing and he got an offer from NYCBC and started chasing tights like our three years together meant nothing. I had loved him and he left me. If I hadn't been able to throw myself into my last year at Julliard, I would have gone completely catatonic and even then I had gotten a reputation of working myself to exhaustion.

"Edward."

"Yes, Bella?"

I breathed through my nose, walked close to him and was immediately engulfed in his familiar scent. I had to fight back the urge to sink into his chest and bury myself in his arms. I spoke quietly, "Listen to me closely. Unless it has to do with dance, I don't want to talk to you ever. We'll dance, we'll do our jobs, but I don't want to ever talk to you about anything that isn't absolutely necessary. It's like _we_ never existed, just like you said. Is that clear?"

His lips curled up into that dangerous smirk, the one he always gave me before he started to do wicked things to my body. I knew then that I was in trouble, big trouble. With just that smirk he brought back memories to what it was like to be held by him, to be touched by him, to be loved by him. It sent a shiver up my spine and the bastard knew it.

"Crystal, for now," he whispered into my ear.

I shoved him backwards, turned my back to him and continued to stretch and warm up. I didn't want him to be here, so it was better that I pretended he wasn't. I would pretend that I was dancing with someone else.

I took a deep breath and eased myself into a standing split, bending my right leg and extending it further and further, getting lost in the slight pain. I breathed in and out, warming up my muscles and doing my best to forget that I was in the same room as Edward. I almost succeded.

I was almost so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't notice Aro Volturi walk in.

"Hello, darlings! Come around, come around!" Aro's loud, flamboyant voice called.

He was wearing a sparkly purple cape over his suit. Kind of hard to miss. If it wasn't for the fact that he owned and directed the company, it would be really easy to discount him, but as it was, the man was a genius.

"Okay, I told you that we were going to be joined by two new principles: Edward Cullen and Isabella Swan." Aro paused and motioned for us to join him up front. I reluctantly rose and stood beside Edward, purposefully not looking at him. I didn't want anyone in the company to think that I was unprofessional.

"They're going to be performing in a new ballet called _Rolling in the Deep_, about a couple who falls in love, breaks up, and lives with regret until they meet again. It's going to be very powerful and intimate, which is why it will be performed solely by Edward and Isabella. After _Summer Strings _is finished it's run, the rest of you will begin preparing for our Christmas ballet which has yet to be cast. But we have four months till we even need to think about that." Aro finished with a wink to the rest of the company.

"In the meantime, Edward and Isabella will join the rest of you for morning training and exercises, and then we will go to separate rehearsals. _Summer Strings_ will continue to be directed by myself, while Tanya Denali and Benjamin Amun, formally from the New York City Ballet, will be choreographing _Rolling in the Deep_. I'm sure you are aware of what caliber of dancers Tanya, Benjamin, Isabella, and Edward are and I want you to make them feel welcome in the company."

It felt strange to be lumped into a group with New York City Ballet alumni, but at the same time it made me a bit proud. Even though I couldn't help wonder if Tanya and Edward had ever slept together.

I didn't know how I would handle it if my new director was one of the tights Edward whored around with.

It wasn't until I felt Edward shift his eyes to me that I realized I was breathing heavily through my nose, the way I always did when I was angry. I looked up at him, and his smirk was back; he knew what it meant when I breathed like that.

Damn him.

I gave him my best bitch-brow communicating, _Her, right? You slept with her._

Edward sighed, raised his eyes to the ceiling and shook his head. _No, of course not._ It wasn't lost on me that even though we hadn't seen each other in a year, we were still able to communicate without words.

Again, damn him.

Aro interrupted our thoughts. "Isabella, Edward, I was just thinking back to a showcase that you two did about a year and half ago at Julliard. Tanya and Benjamin aren't with us so maybe you could brush up on one of your old pieces during the second half of rehearsal and show off a bit for the rest of the company? "

I took a deep breath; I really didn't want to revisit the pieces that we choreographed together, the pieces that we had used to describe our love for each other. I especially didn't want to go anywhere near any of the ones that were inspired by our sex life.

"That's fine. Do you want soft shoe or toe? The allegro from the 'Company' suite was always one of my favorite pieces," I said, confidently naming the least sexual piece that we had done together.

Aro looked thoughtful. "I'd prefer to see something a little more contemporary, something that shows off the spark that the two of you have. Other than that though, surprise me! Now, everybody to the barre; it's time to start rehearsal."

I walked to the barre, listening to the piano and drum kit which was a little different than the usual classical piano music. I began breathing in time with the music, stretching and elongating with each planned tendu, plié, and relevé.

Irina, the ballet mistress, came by in the middle of my port de bras in fourth position. She stopped and watched as I leaned back and let my torso and my arm extend parallel to the barre. I saw her taking me in, conscious of everything from my toes to the tips of my fingers.

"Beautiful, Isabella. Your extension is simply exquisite. I'm so excited that you're here. I think you and Edward will bring a new class to the company."

"Humph."

One of Irina's perfect dark eyebrows arch up at whoever was behind me. It wasn't until we turned around to do our exercises on the left side that I even had an idea at who it was. She was a tall, blonde, picture-perfect ballerina.

I watched her in the mirror. She was perfect. She had perfect extension and perfect turn out. My aficionado's eye took in how every movement from her feet to her pinky was controlled in a way that I had been trying to perfect for years. Why the hell did they need me when they had her?

It wasn't until we were in line for jetté and turning exercises that I had a chance to even find out who she was.

Alice just rolled her eyes at me when I asked. "Has she been giving you trouble? She said she was over it…"

"No, she hasn't even said anything. But look at her," I said, pointing to her as she executed leap after leap flawlessly. "Why did they bring me in when they have her?"

Alice snorted. "That's what she said. She's the current principle and doesn't understand why she and Emmet McCarty couldn't do the new ballet. But I wouldn't worry about her; she's really nice once you get to know her. She just didn't take too kindly to Aro raving about how amazing you and Edward are. "

Suddenly it was our group that was up. I took in a deep breath, and stepped and leaped in time with the music, stretching my legs as far as they would go. When I came down, my eyes caught Edward's, and I saw for the first time that day, a genuine smile come across his face. It was the first time since I had seen him that he hadn't looked at me in lust, aggravation, or even pity. He was looking at me with pride. It only lasted a second, but it was there.

Alice snapped me back to reality.

"Rosalie is just jealous, but once you and Edward show her how good the two of you are, she'll back off. And if she doesn't, I'll make her. She's my sister-in-law; I married her brother, Jasper, back in January."

I looked at her in surprise. "Congratulations!"

For next forty five minutes of rehearsal Alice gave me a full play-by-play of her and Jasper's wedding. Several of the other company members gave me empathetic looks. I didn't mind it though. The other members of the company's looks strangely made me feel a lot more at ease and less on display during the rest of rehearsal. I really didn't want to let her go when it was time for us to split up.

Apparently, she felt the same. "Please tell me you'll go out with me after rehearsal? Pretty please?"

I laughed. "Definitely. I'll need a drink after six hours alone with my ex."

"Aw, I don't think it'll be that bad. I bet dancing with him is like riding a bike; you guys will just fall into it naturally."

"Thanks, Alice," I answered with a smile. I looked over and saw Aro gesturing wildly. I couldn't exactly pin down what Aro reminded me of. He was a typical ballet director, tall with dark shoulder-length hair and he had one of those thin European moustaches. Add that to the fact that the man as flaming as the day is long, he triggered something in my brain; I just couldn't pinpoint it. I watched as he talked with his hands to Edward, as Edward smiled and nodded politely.

"Ah, Isabella! I was just telling Edward that you two should probably do 'Come Back to Bed.' I loved that piece. So organic! So raw! So sexual!" Aro raved.

I locked eyes with Edward, silently begging him not to make me do that piece. _Please, please, I can't do that one._

Edward nodded.

"Actually, Aro, you're giving us six hours until you want us to perform, right? That's actually plenty of time for me and Bella to choreograph a new piece, if you want. Start our beginning with the company with a bit of a bang."

Aro's eyes lit up. "Wonderful, my dear boy. That would be wonderful. Well, I'll just leave you to it then. Go get 'em tiger," Aro said with a slap on Edward's ass before walking away.

Edward shrugged. "Occupational hazard. Shall we go?"

"Sure," I sighed as I followed him to the studio.

Edward's eyes shifted to me a little uneasily. "It's your turn, you know, to pick the song?"

I sighed. I guessed if we were going to dance together it would be best to just pick up where we left off. We had rituals for everything from picking the music to performing. The best I could hope was that the last ritual could be amended.

"Right, well I guess that's okay. I've had a song kind of in my head anyways. How do you feel about Mumford and Sons? I've been thinking 'White Blank Page'," I said confidently.

Edward didn't say anything, just nodded. "Album version or Bookshop sessions? Personally, I love the session version, but I think the album version would be better for this venue."

That was weird. Usually he fought me more on song choices. My shock must have registered on my face. Edward smiled kindly. "Bella, it's not an angle. I really do think that song is a good choice."

I took a deep breath. "Well okay then, I guess we'll go with the album version. I'll put it on the speaker so we can start."

As I connected my iPod to the speakers, Edward sat down in front of the mirror, expecting me to sit in front of him while we visualized. Just like breathing together was the most natural thing in the world…which it was, because that's how we had always done it. So I took my seat with my back against his chest so we could feel each other's breaths rise and fall together.

Breathing in as the song started, the natural progression of the dance began to play in my head, our breaths coming in and out in time with the music. Suddenly Edward interlaced his fingers between my own as the song voiced, "Tell me now, where was my fault, in loving you with my whole heart?"

"Edward," I sighed, resting my head back against his chest. "It can't be like this."

"Bella, you said we were just going to talk dance. I haven't said one word that wasn't dance related."

"With your mouth, no, but your hands are saying other things."

"Bella, my hands are going to be in a lot more places today besides in your own. I was just trying to make you comfortable. Besides, this how we always did it. This is the best way we can work together. Aro hired us because he wants that chemistry. If we act like it doesn't exist, it won't exist on stage. We just need to embrace it."

I raised my eyebrow. "Alright, but if it goes too far we're going to have to draw up some new ideas on how to work together. I can't do everything the way we used to, Edward, I can't. As it is, it's all I can do to look at you and not break down."

Edward finally let out his own sigh, pinching his nose the way he always did when he was frustrated. "I know. I know you don't trust me or even like me as a person, but you know you can trust me as a dancer. So let's just start with that."

I nodded. "Alright, I was thinking that for the opening we could start out apart, and not connect until after the bass comes in…"

We ended up with a piece I was absolutely in love with. It wasn't perfect, but on some level it was right that way, as if we could capture the song better because the choreography was a bit rough.

The thing I could not shake was how right it felt to be working with Edward. He blew away every other partner I had had in the past year. It was so _easy_ with him. I didn't have to work as hard to be in sync with him, I wasn't constantly worried that he wouldn't be there for a lift, and choreographing with him was so simple; he knew what I wanted to do as soon as I figured it out. Most of the time we didn't even need to communicate with words to get what we wanted.

It worried me more than a little. He was like a magnet; I was impossibly drawn to him. But I couldn't even begin to think about trusting him outside of dance again.

The rest of the company and a few of the crew and musicians were sitting on the floor in the main rehearsal space, waiting for us. Before I could walk in, Edward stopped me and led me so my back was to the wall and he was standing in front of me. Before I could even really process what he was doing, he brought his hand to cup my face. His eyes searched mine to see if I would ask him to stop.

"Tradition?" he breathed.

Losing myself to the familiarity of his touch, I nodded. Immediately, he pressed his body into mine. My hands went into his hair and my mouth opened to accept his.

It felt so good, so right and I was lost in the sensation. I couldn't help but want more. It wasn't until I moaned out load that I realized how very, very bad this all was. And from the way that Edward immediately stepped back, he noticed it too.

"Right, we should go perform…" he stated, looking as if he was waiting for me to start screaming at him.

"Right, let's go."

We walked in, and Aro began introducing us. But it was like nothing else existed. All I could think about was Edward. The way Edward felt, the way he tasted, the memories of the way…

Seriously, I needed to stop.

I saw Aro walk toward the back of the rehearsal space, taking a spot behind everyone else. I took my mark. It didn't take much acting. When we started out apart dancing in tandem, it was so easy for me to summon a look of longing. When the music climaxed and we finally touched, a wave of relief came across my whole body.

This wasn't a dance I was performing; this was a dance I was living.

As soon as the piece ended, I couldn't hear anything. It was all a blur. I didn't notice the other members of the company clapping, or Aro talking to me and Edward.

And it takes a lot not to notice Aro.

It wasn't until Alice came up to me with Rosalie that I was even able to speak. "Bella, that was amazing—"

"In a little bit, Alice," I interrupted. "I really need that drink."

AN: Love it? Hate it? Whatever you think I want to know! See that review button? Click it—you know you want to…


	2. Chapter 2 Heads Will Roll

AN: I heart Project Team Beta. The comma use is still a little difficult for me and they help me polish up my chapters so they are nice and pretty and comma splice free. I'm going to try and update more I promise; RL has just been kicking me in the butt lately. And lastly thank you to all of you who reviewed and added this story to your alerts or your favorite, y'all make me feel all warm and fuzzy.

Chapter Two: Heads Will Roll

"I just wanted to tell you that I can't believe you guys came up with that in a day! I mean …"

"Alcohol, Alice. I needed a drink like, ten minutes ago," I stated flatly. There was no way I was going to explain the tomfuckery that just happened completely sober. Honestly, I didn't even want to think about it sober.

That didn't stop me from feeling it though. It was like I had just taken a hit of something I already quit. I couldn't put into words how good it felt to be up against him in that hallway. I was kicking myself for not remembering what I was missing. Seriously, what kind of girl forgets that? The way his hand cradled my head, the urgency of his tongue, the way my body melted into his hard chest …

And then I remember the way he left my ass and has since touched other girls like that.

That is why I needed to forget, and it is also why I needed alcohol. Lots of it.

I pulled my thoughts back to the present and focused my attention on Alice. "Where did you want to go?"

"Rose, Emmet, and I were going to meet Jasper at O'Riley's. What are you going to wear? Do you have anything with you?" Alice asked as she tried to look into my bag.

"No, I'm going to wear my leotard and tights to a bar." Alice looked at me in horror. "Seriously girl? Cut me some slack. I've lived in New York for four years now; I know how to dress myself. I have skinny jeans and a purple top in my bag. Does that work?"

Alice laughed. "You're acting like I'm some sort of fashion Nazi. I just didn't think you'd have something to change into after rehearsal, that's all. You'll be fine for tonight."

"Give me five minutes to change and put on some mascara, and then I'll be good to go," I said over my shoulder as I walked toward my dressing room. I hadn't been in there yet, but seeing my name on the door gave me butterflies.

Of course, that was before I saw Rosalie Hale's name was also on the door. Apparently, principles shared.

_Great._

I walked in hoping that I would be alone, but apparently, the gods weren't on my side today. Rosalie was there in all her glory, changing into a bombshell of a dress.

She looked up at me. "Alice said you were coming out with us tonight?"

"Yeah, I am. I just need to get today out of my head." I shuddered. I couldn't help it. I kept getting images of Edward in my mind.

Rosalie looked at me as if I was crazy. "You come up with _that piece _in a day and you need to get it out of your head?"

"It's not so much of woofofhat's wrong with me, as it is of wof hat's wrong with him. We have a lot of history, a, nd after today, I know that working with him for the next five months is going to be anything but fun."

"What kind of history?" Rosalie asked curiously.

"Sorry, chica, I'm going to need at least three shots before I'm going to be able to talk about it."

Rosalie nodded. "Well before we go to the bar, there is something I want to say sober. I'm really sorry if I gave you the wrong idea earlier. I'm just used to being the top bitch, and I don't necessarily like competition. You're a beautiful dancer though, and if I have to compete with someone, at least it's going to be someone that will push me to be better."

I nodded, anyone who's ever taken a dance class knows it's competitive, and it only gets worse the more you get into it. Rosalie just saw me as another rival, but she didn't sound like the normal catty type that came with the dance world. Maybe we could be friends.

Ten minutes later, we were both ready, and I was that much closer to the alcohol. I didn't say anything on the cab ride over, even though both Rosalie and Alice tried to include me in their conversation. As soon as we got to the pub, I elbowed my way through the crowd to the bar, leaving the girls in my wake. It wasn't long before I had the bartender's attention.

"What can I get you, pretty lady?"

Normally that would ick me out a bit, but he was the guardian of the alcohol for the night.. "I just found out that I'm working with my ex for the next six months. I need out of my head. I don't care what you get me, as long as it gets me smashed." The bartender winked at me and started concocting some sort of mixed drink. It was purple. I didn't ask what it was, and I didn't care. I downed the whole thing in one gulp and motioned for another. Alice and Rosalie finally caught up with me when I was half way through my second purple concoction.

Alice spoke first. "Okay, Bella, I've been really patient, but you have to tell me what the deal is with Edward! I know he's your ex, but I've never seen dancers click like that. Watching the two of you dance is really weird. I feel like I'm watching things I'm not supposed to."

I sighed. They'd find out eventually, and I was buzzed enough it didn't hurt as much to talk about. "Edward and I dated for about three years; we started seeing each other about a month after we got paired up as _pas de deux_ partners. After our first showcase, we started getting a lot of attention due to our chemistry on stage.

"Have you ever met somebody that you just click with? Like you can know what they're thinking without even speaking? That's how it is with me and Edward. He's always understood me. When we were attending Julliard, I thought that we'd eventually get married and join the same company, spend our lives dancing and choreographing together. Apparently, that was not his plan."

Rosalie looked at me with pitying eyes, and I knew then that I couldn't tell them the whole story. They'd think less of me.

Alice took it upon herself to interject. "How did it end between the two of you?"

I snorted. "Sorry, doll, I'm not quite that drunk yet. Let's just agree that he's a dick and order another round."

Alice and Rosalie declined, considering they weren't done with their first. I decided to swig down another glass of purple poison, which judging by the state of my balance, was pretty damn strong.

"Where are the men?" I questioned a little too loudly. Rosalie and Alice shared a look with one another. I knew those looks. They were having some sort of conversation.

"Well," Rosalie started. "Jasper and Emmet decided to get something to eat before they met up with us, and they sort of, kind of, invited Edward."

I sighed and gulped down the rest of my drink. "Does that mean he's coming here tonight?"

Rosalie and Alice nodded.

"Motherfucker," I sighed. I looked for the bartender and motioned for his attention. "Hey, Mike, hit me with a double and you're looking at a fifty dollar tip."

Mike raised his eyebrows. "More trouble with your ex?"

I snorted. "More like a proximity issue."

"You know, you're too beautiful to be drinking your sorrows away," someone whispered from behind me.

Alice piped up first. "Get lost, loser. She's with us tonight. Bella, you should probably slow down. As it is, you're going to have a massive hang over in the morning, and we still have rehearsal. Besides, I don't want you doing something you might regret."

Rosalie pushed a glass of water at me. "Drink. No arguments. We're cutting you off," she said as she motioned to Mike. "Don't give her any more alcohol. What the hell are in these anyway?"

Mike shrugged. "It's my own secret concoction; however, there is a good bit of tequila in there."

I couldn't decide if Rose and Alice were being really sweet or really annoying. On the one hand, it was really nice that they were looking out for me. On the other, they were cutting me off, and I wasn't completely obliterated yet.

"You guys aren't any fun. So I might be hurting a little tomorrow. I'll feel good tonight," I whined.

Rosalie chuckled. "You forgot you're starting choreography tomorrow with Edward. Trust me. Learning a piece with a hangover just doesn't work. Here. Drink some more water. It'll help."

"Thanks." I sighed in resignation it was probably for the best; I was really starting to feel the drinks. "Guys, why does he get to me so bad? It's been a year, and it still hurts to look at him. He makes me so mad, and then he makes me forget that I'm mad by fucking kissing me."

Alice did a double take. "When did he kiss you?"

"Right before we performed for the company. It was one of our traditions. Before every performance at Julliard, we always kissed. We thought it helped us focus our energy on each other and helped to forget the audience."

"Well, it works," Rosalie replied. "You two were in the zone when you performed."

I groaned. "I know it works. That's what makes it suck; it means that I'll probably end up doing it again."

"Bella, girl, you really should tell us what happened. Maybe we can help or kick him in the jewels if you need us too," Alice prompted.

"Guys, please don't make me talk about it. I just want to forget it. I will tell you this though; when he ended it, he promised that he was going to stay out of my life. That it would be like he didn't exist. Now that he's back in my life, it's like everything I did in the past year to move on from him was completely useless. I fell completely back at square one.

"Don't get me wrong. I'm not still in love with him. In no universe do I actually want to be with him again. But it feels like I'm coming out of anesthesia in this whole situation. Like I was numb to it, and now I'm not. I'm not sure how to deal with it."

"Bella," Alice began. "I'm not sure what to tell you except what I saw. Whatever you had isn't completely gone. For Christ's sakes. You guys can talk just by looking at each other! And the way he was looking at you …"

"Acting, Alice. He was acting."

"You can't be sure. I mean he kissed you. That has to mean something."

"No, it doesn't. He was just completing our performance tradition. It was nothing," I said firmly.

"I don't know, Bella. There are some things you just can't fake," Rosalie stated.

"Guys, we're going in circles. I know Edward. Trust me when I say that he doesn't want me. He's just doing his job. And I'm going to do mine, but I'm not going to fall back in love with him."

The girls looked at me with sympathy, like they thought I was a goner already, and I was just deluding myself. But I knew the truth. Things hadn't changed that much in a year. Edward meant what he said. He didn't want me then, and now that we were dancing together, I couldn't let myself want him now. Our time had passed. Maybe if he hadn't gotten called to the NYC Ballet when he did, things could have worked out for us, but I couldn't spend my time concentrating on what could have been.

_Off, off, off with his head_

_Dance, dance, dance till you're dead _

_Heads will roll. Heads will roll_

_On the floor_

I suddenly felt a second wind come through me. "Alright, enough of the heavy. Come dance with me. I absolutely love this song."

Rosalie and Alice shared a look. "We still have to wait for the guys to show up," Alice hedged.

"So? Come on, please?" I begged.

The girls just shook their heads.

"Fine, your loss," I said as I turned to tap the guy sitting next to me at the bar. "Want to dance?" I asked him.

"Sure, sugar," he said with a creepy little smile. Okay, maybe I hadn't thought this all the way through, but I was committed, so I decided to just go with it.

He took my hand and led me to the dance floor. Standing behind me he started a slow grind. I felt the alcohol coursing through me, and it felt so good. I wasn't thinking about Edward, what I had just revealed to Alice and Rose, or really anything. It was just me dancing to the music with some random guy I had met at the bar. I was just enjoying the feel of his body against mine, his touch erasing any memories of Edward's. It felt so good.

Until it didn't.

Suddenly, Bar Dude started going in for the grope. I slapped his hands away and they just kept coming. I kept trying to push him away, but in my state, I wasn't doing much good. Just when I was about to give up on playing nice, close my eyes, and go for the Hail Mary stiletto foot stomp, I felt Bar Dude shoved away from me. I turned around to see what was happening.

What I saw was Edward punching the lights out of Bar Dude.

The first thing I felt was relief. Then I got pissed.

"Edward!" I yelled. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Edward wasn't paying attention to me. He had Bar Dude by the collar and was growling something in his ear before pushing him off the dance floor and grabbing my hand.

"What the hell are you doing Edward? Let me go!"

"I'm taking you home. You're smashed," he growled as he pulled me through the doors of the bar.

"I can take care of myself! I'm not a child!" I yelled.

"Then why are you acting like one? Drinking like a fish the night before a rehearsal? What were you thinking?"

"Oh, really?" I scoffed. "So punching some random dude was just, what? Residual anger about me maybe not being able to do my job tomorrow? Maybe I'm a little drunk, but at least I'm not barreling through bars acting like a fucking Neanderthal!"

"What did you expect me to do? Just watch some guy feel you up against your will? You expect me to act like I don't care about you at all?"

"Don't get me started on you caring about me. You are such an asshole, you know that?" I said as I walked away to hail a cab on my own.

"Bella!" Edward called. I walked faster.

"Bella, will you wait the hell up? You can't just say shit like that and walk away."

I turned and looked him straight in the eye. "Why not? You did."

"It wasn't like that."

"Really? Tell me how it was then? Because from what I remember you pretty much told me you wanted out so you could fuck other women and then left."

Edward glared at me. "That isn't the whole story, and you know it. You make it sound like I never loved you."

Tears started to form in my eyes. "No, the full story is much worse, isn't it?" I growled. "I don't see how you could have ever loved me; you can't love a person for three years and leave the way you did. There's nothing between us anymore," I said before I turned away from him.

Edward made a grab for my hand and pulled it up to his chest. I didn't want to, but I felt the electricity drumming through his heartbeat, his heart calling out to my own. "Feel that, Bella? That isn't nothing. There's something between us. I've tried to forget about you, but over the past year, I couldn't shake the feeling that I made the biggest mistake of my life by letting you go. Today just proved it. I'll never be able to have what I had with you with anyone else. Bella …"

"Just shut the fuck up," I screamed interrupting him. "You know, I think it's so ironic that we're in a ballet about a couple who falls in love, then out of love, and back into love. But if you're waiting for life to imitate art and for me to fly back into your arms after what you did, you're stupider than I thought you were."

And with that, he finally let me walk away. I hailed a cab and gave the cabbie my address before bursting into tears.

AN: Dun dun dun. Sorry y'all you're just going to have to wait a bit to find out what really happened to Bella and Edward. If you check out my profile I have links to all the songs that I'm going to use in this story, including the one for the next chapter!


	3. Chapter 3 Falling Slowly

Chapter AN: I am so incredibly sorry that this has taken so friggin' long. Back in September I had to check myself into a clinic to deal with my eating disorder that I have been living with for ten years. I didn't even get my computer back until December, and since I got back from treatment I've really been concentrating on getting better and staying in recovery. However, now that I'm back I'm hoping to be able to update more frequently!

The song for this chapter is "Falling Slowly" from the movie _Once_. If you haven't seen it already – see it! Or at least listen to the soundtrack it's all kinds of wonderful.

And as always, I do not own Twilight or its characters in any way, shape or form. I just play with them. 3: Falling Slowly

_**I don't know you  
>But I want you<br>All the more for that  
>Words fall through me<br>And always fool me  
>And I can't react<br>And games that never amount  
>To more than they're meant<br>Will play themselves out**_

_**Take this sinking boat and point it home  
>We've still got time<br>Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice  
>You'll make it now<strong>_

_**Falling slowly, eyes that know me  
>And I can't go back<br>Moods that take me and erase me  
>And I'm painted black<br>You have suffered enough  
>And warred with yourself<br>It's time that you won**_

_**Take this sinking boat and point it home  
>We've still got time<br>Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice**_

_**You've made it now  
>Falling slowly sing your melody<br>I'll sing it loud**_

Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova

BPOV

_Sitting across from Edward, I found myself concentrating on his lips as his tongue peeked out to lick them. My mind flashed back to when his head was last between my thighs. His eyes had sparkled as he watched me squirm beneath his lip's caress. I noticed his lips turn into a smirk and I felt myself getting wet, and then I looked to his eyes to see them full of mischief sending more pleasure down my core: not only did he know what I was thinking about, he knew what he was doing to me._

_He let out a chuckle. "Bella, did you not get enough? We haven't even been clothed for an hour! Let a man rest- I'm not a machine."_

_I smiled in response. "I know!" I said as I got up and walked towards him, lowering myself into his lap. "But you know how sexy you are, and sometimes it's a little distracting."_

"_Mmmm. And you think you aren't? It's bad enough when we're in class, and I can only touch you in ways society deems appropriate. But when I have you alone like this? Well let's just say it's everything I can do to not knock you over the head with a club and lock the doors to keep you from ever escaping."_

_I laughed softly as I buried my face in his neck, peppering it with open-mouthed kisses. "My Neanderthal …"_

"_Neanderthal? I'll show you Neanderthal!" he growled as he grabbed my legs and swung me over his shoulder and smacked my ass._

"_Ooh, Bella's gonna get some lovin'. Ooh, Bella's gonna get some lovin' …" I sang as he dropped me unceremoniously onto our bed and crawled between my legs. His eyes sparkled as he leaned in and kissed me passionately, his hands moving from my hips and up my ribs. He teased my breasts, not touching me where I needed him to the most._

"_Edward," I sighed against his lips, "You're not playing fair."_

"_Darling, I never said I did." He smirked as he pulled my tank top over my head, dipping his head to take my nipple into his mouth._

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

"Ugggggh. Too early," I rasped. I looked at the clock; it was only five-thirty in the morning. I rubbed my eyes to get the sleep out so I could start my day. I resisted looking over to the left side of the bed, reminding myself that Edward was not there. It had been a year, and I still wasn't used to sleeping by myself. I sighed. I probably should have moved after he left, but I loved my loft and couldn't bear to get rid of it.

I pushed myself off the bed and towards my dresser to get my trusty Nike shorts. I started to get ready for my morning run, when the phone rang.

Who the hell was calling me at five-thirty in the morning?

"Hello?"

"Bella? It's Alice."

"Hey, Alice, how did you get my number?"

"Oh, eh, I may have gotten it from the front office yesterday. I'm sorry! I just thought that you might need a wakeup call this morning and maybe be willing to go for a run with me before rehearsal?"

Alice _was_ a sneaky one.

"That actually sounds good. I usually run in the park. Where do you want me to meet you?"

"Well, actually …"

KNOCK! KNOCK!

I stared at the door. I didn't know whether to be flattered or appalled at the blatant disregard for my privacy.

I opened the door to see Alice decked out in Nike shorts and an American Ballet Theater t-shirt. Her big blue eyes were cautious, and her smile was a little sheepish, but I couldn't be mad at her; I just wanted to be her friend. I hadn't had many friends since I moved to New York.

"Hey, Alice, come in. I just have to get changed. So apparently Mrs. Cope has a big mouth."

If it was possible, she looked even more chagrined. "Um, I didn't get your address from Mrs. Cope."

That stopped me in my tracks. "Alice," I said in a low voice, "who did you get my address from?"

"Edward. I'm sorry, Bella! After you left, he looked so sad! So I talked to him for a bit and wheedled your address out of him."

"Geesh, Alice. Way to talk to the enemy," I shot at her with a smirk as I changed into my work-out clothes.

She laughed a little musical chuckle. "It's not stalking if you know you're needed, and you, my dear, need me."

I thought back to my dream and the dreams I had every other night-the ones that tortured me with how perfect things had been. "Yeah, I probably do," I said as I put on my tennis shoes. "Come on. Let's run."

We walked down the four flights of stairs and started jogging once we hit the street. I relished in the calming feeling of my heart pumping faster and the pickup of my breathing.

"You know he misses you, right?"

"He told me as much last night. I think he just wants to smooth things over now that we're working together again."

Alice scrunched up her face. "No, I think it's more than that. I think yesterday just showed him what he was missing. I've never seen a guy so sad."

"Humph. Well, I'd be more inclined to feel sorry for him if he hadn't spent the last year screwing everything in tights."

Alice stopped running, forcing me to stop about five feet in front of her. "Bella, he told Jasper that he hasn't been with anybody since you."

My eyes grow wide. I shook my head, trying to shake away what she said, because there was no way that it could be true_._ The bastard had looked me in the eye and said he wanted to be with other people. He was a man of his word, if he said that was what he was going to do, then that's what he did.I turned on my heel and started running again, concentrating on my breathing. I saw in my periphery that Alice had caught up with me.

I had a mantra to go along with my strides. _It's not true. He doesn't love you._

We didn't say a word the rest of the way.

Stretch. Elongate. I spent the entire first part of rehearsal concentrating on making my limbs as straight and as perfect as I could make them. I was so aware of every movement I made that I was successfully able to block out everyone else in the company.

It wasn't until we were walking towards our private rehearsal space that I even chanced a glanceat Edward.

He looked like shit. His hair was standing on end, meaning he had run his hands through it over and over again. He had bags under his emerald eyes; in the past, it had seemed as if those eyes were constantly sparkling, spilling over with happy emotions. Now his eyes were lifeless, as if he hadn't experienced joy in any form in a long while. My eyes traveled down to his well-defined arms as his biceps flexed and relaxed with the waves and release that came from his hand.

I sighed. All of my heart wanted to reach out to him, to comfort him. Deep down I knew I still loved him. However, I was still angry enough to stop myself from doing anything stupid.

We entered the rehearsal space and were greeted by Tanya and Benjamin. "Bella, Edward! Wonderful to see you! Now first, do either of you have any questions about the show? Otherwise we're just going to dive in," Tanya said with a smile.,

Edward cleared his throat. "Well, you told me of the possibility of using a couple of our older pieces in the show?"

Tanya and Benjamin exchanged glances. "Aro is rather insistent we use 'Come Back to Bed', but we haven't decided yet. However, both of you are such good choreographers that if you do have any suggestions to make things a bit more natural between the two of you, let us know," Benjamin said a bit apologetically.

I was surprised when I heard myself let out a growl. I did not want to perform "Come Back to Bed". Edward and I had choreographed it the morning after our first night together. For our entire relationship, it was our private piece that we would dance together to center us if we found ourselves getting off track. We never planned on preforming it, and it wasn't until our mentor Katharine Harris saw it and begged us to perform it that we even considered it. It ended up being the talk of the showcase, and I've regretted performing it ever since.

Tanya must have seen the look of annoyance on my face because she quickly changed the subject. "The opening number to the show is 'Falling Slowly' by Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova from the movie 'Once'. We want it to be like the first time you both set eyes on each other. There is an instant attraction, but we don't want you to play it sexually. It should be tender, like you're amazed that the other exists. Are you ready to start?" Edward and I both nodded. "Alright, your marks start here."

I followed Tanya, and Edward followed Benjamin. We started apart from one another, moving towards the other as the dance progressed. It only took half the allotted time for us to block the first minute of the piece, and Tanya announced that we were ready to start the _pas de duex_ portion of the piece.

_I can do this. I can do this._

"All right, Bella, I want you to do the combination I just taught you toward Edward. Edward, when she gets to you, you're going to need to pick her up bridal style. Let's see how that works, and then we'll go from there," Tanya explained.

I wrinkled my nose and began to move in time with the drummer. Step-step- turn, stretch, arms, jump, roll, lift from the tops of my feet. I made eye contact with Edward as I kicked my leg up, and he reached to lift me into his arms, cradling me to his chest.

It felt like home. That pissed me off.

"You know, this piece reminds me of the day we met. I remember staring at you the whole class, inching my way towards you just so I could hear your voice, and when I first looked into your eyes, I was spellbound. Your eyes are like open books-when I look in them, it's like I can tell what you're thinking."

I closed my eyes. I wanted nothing more than to tell him to fuck off.

But he wasn't done. Not by a long shot.

He began singing the words of the song in my ear, causing me to silently shiver.

After he was finished singing Edward started to walk me through his memories of the first time we met. As we worked on the lifts, turns, and jumps that encompassed the next part of the dance, my mind was brought back to almost three and a half years ago. The day I had gone to my audition for Julliard.

_I was beyond nervous. I had already gotten through the basic technique audition, and now it was on to choreography, which counted for sixty percent of my audition. I just kept breathing in and out, trying to calm myself enough to listen to the choreographer explain the dance. All I was really able to catch was that we were going to be split up into pairs with one of the current dance students; that terrified me. It was one thing to be paired up with another dancer who was auditioning, but to be paired with somebody already in the program? It was frightening. _

"_Isabella Swan?" the choreographer called, nodding to one of the dancers on the other side of the room._

_As I raised my hand, I saw one of the male dancers nod back and start walking my way. I wasn't paying attention earlier, andI found myself wondering how I could have missed him. He was the most perfect male specimen that I had ever seen, with reddish brown hair that reminded me of bronze, eyes that were almost too green, and a crooked smile that was almost heartbreaking. I noticed, as he walked towards me, that the parts of his shoulders visible from his sleeveless shirt were dusted with brown freckles._

_Apparently freckles made me horny. Who knew?_

_Dear God, please, please, please let him be straight. I don't ask for much, just please let him be straight. I could even work with bi, just let him be at least a little into girls._

_He was finally in front of me, sticking his hand out for shake. "Hi. I'm Edward Cullen. I'll be your partner today," he said in a soft, velvet voice._

_I took his hand in mine, my eyes widening when the contact sent sparks to my already wet core. I shook my head and cleared my throat, not quite meeting his eyes, afraid that I might jump him in the middle of the studio. "I'm Bella Swan. Nice to meet you."_

_As soon as I introduced myself, the choreographer, who I think was named Marcus, started teaching us the combination. We were in our first lift by the fourth eight count. Lifts usually freaked me the fuck out-it was hard for me to trust a guy to not drop me-but Edward was just so steady, and something about him made me feel safe. It only took one try until we had it picture perfect. It was a little unnerving. _

_After running it a few times, Edward leaned in to whisper in my ear, his lips so close that they brushed the side of my ear._

"_I could dance with you forever, Bella Swan."_

"I could dance with you forever, darling," Edward whispered in my ear, effectively pulling me out of my memories.

I didn't know if it was the fact that Edward had just echoed the words that he had said when we first met that pissed me off or if it was just the fact that he called me darling. Either way, something inside of me snapped as I wheeled around to face him. I took a deep breath through my nose and watched as his eyes widened with recognition of the anger that was coursing through my veins. Before I was even aware of what I was about to do, I saw my hand cut through the air and land on his face with a deafening smack.

"Go to hell, you fucking bastard," I seethed.

Edward looked crestfallen. Benjamin looked shocked. Tanya looked like she was trying not to laugh. Naturally that meant Tanya spoke first.

"Okay! I think that's enough for today!" she said with a smirk.

Thank, God.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed it! I'm hoping to have an update to you in two to three weeks, most likely three because of Midterms.

Now it's your job to review! I run off love and it is so much easier to write knowing people love it!


	4. Annoying Authors Note

Annoying Author's Note:

I am really sorry but I have to put this story on long term hiatus. I really appreciate all of the support and feedback that has come with this story, but in addition to the five months in the hospital that I have spent since September (late September to end of December, and middle of February to end of March) that has made it hard to update; I have just hit a roadblock with this story. I apologize and I promise to attempt to come back to the story when the muses let me.

If you have read my profile you are aware that when I'm not writing fan fiction I am write historical fiction, I have been planning on writing a Tudor era fan fic for some time and I've finally started. I don't know when I'll post it as I've only begun to write and I want to get at least five chapters ahead so I don't have the same problem with updating as I have this story, but be on the lookout for the story 'Brink of Madness'.


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